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You Gotta Love the Irish
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.   Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me.   If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!" 

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" 

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," the man replied. 

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father." 

The priest said, "I don't believe this..   You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die , yes.   I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

Paddy was in  New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.   The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians. "   Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians! " for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

An Irish priest is driving down to  New York  and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .   The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. 

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. 

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.   As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.   A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. 

Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.   He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. 

In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. 

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Patton said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.




Be prepared to toast on St. Patrick's Day!


When March 17th arrives you can raise your glass and toast your Irish friends with one of these phrases.



May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go


Health, and long life to you

Land without rent to you
The partner of your heart to you
and when you die, may your bones rest in Ireland!



May you get all your wishes but one,
So you always have something to strive for.



Here's to your coffin...
May it be built of 100 year old oaks 


Which I will plant tomorrow.


 May your neighbors respect you,
Troubles neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And Heaven accept you




 May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.




 May you live to be a hundred years, with one extra year to repent. 




 May your fire be as warm as the weather is cold.




 As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.




 May you be in heaven one half hour before the devil knows you're dead.




May you never forget what is worth remembering,
Or remember what is best forgotten.




May you have the hindsight to know where you've been,
The insight to know where you are,
and the foresight to know when you've gone too far.




 May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door.



  May God bring good health to your enemies’ enemies




 May all the days of the rest of your life


Be the very best of your life 



St. Patrick's Day Facts

Beyond the Blarney


Did you know that St. Patrick's Day is the Roman Catholic feast honoring Ireland's patron saint, St. Patrick? The holiday is also an international celebration of Irish history and heritage.

Patrick was neither Irish nor particularly religious, at least not initially.   Patrick was born Maewyn Succat in 385 CE in the Welsh town of Banwen, and for the first sixteen years of his life he was an avowed pagan.

Maewyn, was captured by Gaelic slave traders at the age of sixteen and sold to an Irish sheep farmer.   He was enslaved for six years, during which he turned to Christianity for comfort. He escaped at the age of 22, and spent the next 12 years living in a British monastery. It was there that he adopted the name Patrick.

Patrick returned to Ireland after his time in a monastery, along with 20-some followers, serving as a Christian missionary 

St. Patrick is believed to have died in Ireland on March 17, 461 C.E.  The anniversary  of his death is now the day on which St. Patrick's Day feast is celebrated  


The myth that Saint Patrick drove all snakes from Ireland into the Irish Sea is just that -- a myth.   Many locals still insist that the serpents were drowned in by Saint Patrick, causing their sea to be so rough. The truth, however, is that serpents where never native to Ireland. The story is most likely a metaphor for the druidic religions, which disappeared from the Emerald Isle after St. Patrick spread the seeds of Christianity

While it is customary to wear green on St. Patrick's Day in the United States, the color green is actually considered unlucky in Ireland.   Green is the color of faeries, which are believed to steal children who wear too much green.


The Shamrock, considered the official plant of Ireland, was viewed as a sacred plant in acient Ireland and symbolized rebirth.

The phrase "the wearing of the green", means to wear a shamrock on one's clothing

On St. Patrick's Day, some revelers will raise a pint of stout and wish their companions "Slainté!"—the Irish word, pronounced SLAN-cha, for "health."

The toast may brim with scientific truth. At a meeting of the American Heart Association in Orlando, Florida, in 2003, researchers reported that Guinness may be as effective as daily aspirin in reducing the blood clots that cause heart attacks. (The benefit derives from antioxidants, which the researchers said reduce cholesterol deposits on arterial walls. The compounds are found in dark Irish stouts but not their paler cousins.)


By law, pubs in Ireland were closed on St. Patrick's Day, a national religious holiday, as recently as the 1970s


According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 34 million United States residents claim Irish ancestry, or nearly ten times the entire population of Ireland today, which stands at 3.9 million. Among U.S. ethnic groups, the number of Irish-Americans in the U.S. is second only to the number of German-Americans.










One of the HHS Class of '69 functions is a Saturday morning breakfast. We have it at the Cold Harbor Restaurant, 8153 Mechanicsville Turnpike, at 9:00 AMWe schedule breakfast every even numbered month (February, April, June, August, October and December) on the second Saturday of that particular month. Once you arrive at the resturaunt ask the hostess to direct you toward the "Henrico table" when you come in. Come share a meal with the HHS Class of '69, not a member of the Class of '69, come anyway, we would love to see you. If you are from out of town maybe you can plan your next visit to Richmond on a weekend we are having breakfast. Look forward to seeing you at the next breakfast.

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